To everyone,I’m really sorry I haven’t been able to post for..
Added 2025-06-03 22:18:31 +0000 UTCTo everyone,I’m really sorry I haven’t been able to post for two weeks.Lately, I’ve been in a really bad place mentally, with my dad passing, stress from being a new mom and low self esteem that I just haven’t been able to film.I’ve been stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, to the point where it was painful just to look at myself in the mirror.The more I kept thinking, “I need to shoot something” or “People are waiting,” the more pressure I felt — and it became overwhelming.In my videos, I act cheerful. But the truth is, I tend to fall into sadness sometimes.I also struggle with social anxiety, and I’ve avoided interacting with people as much as I could. My fans have been my most treasured friends. And I’m so thankful for you.Back when I was in college, people used to ask, “Why is she always so gloomy?”I barely have any friends now outside of here.(Even now, it still feels unreal that there are people following me.)Because of that, I’ve always felt like I couldn’t show my true self.So I’ve been playing a character in my videos.And when I fall into a dark place, I can’t even look at my own face — so filming becomes so difficult.But the reason I keep going forward is because I had a daughter.I used to believe that if I showed my real self, people would reject me.But now I feel like I can’t stay hidden in my shell forever — not if I want to be there for her.I want to reconnect with the world, for her sake.So little by little, I’m going to start showing more of who I really am.Tomorrow, I promise I’ll film.Thank you for reading.
