You don’t need all the expensive things in life… you don’t… ..

You don’t need all the expensive things in life… you don’t… All you need is the ability to care about something other than yourself. See the beauty around you… take it in. Last night I was looking up at the stars and they looked so good… We are all made up of elements of the stars. Life goes far more deeper than the superficial things you see on a persons exterior. We are all here for the one time, so be kind to yourself and the people around you. Don’t be a cunt. The world is already full of them. As I sit here in my bed contemplating the past few days, I can return to Belfast at peace. Accepting the past month for what it is, someone didn’t want me, they didn’t choose me. It’s okay, it is guys, because I choose myself. I choose my dog, I miss her so much. I choose my work, which I want to return too. I choose my friends and my family, I have so many amazing people who care about me. I know so many of you here do too, we are an online and real life community here. We give a shit about each other. No one can tell me differently. I’m going to focus more on making this place even better. I know that there are people here that just want to see content, but this isn’t my number one job. This is my passion. This isn’t a place to watch the occasional video of me wanking, this is my outlet. It’s a happy place for everyone, and a place for people to talk, have the craic, build friendships, look out for one another. This is my happy place, there is only one me to exist right now ~ like me, make your life the best life you could ever live. If you’re not happy change it, because you can - even if you feel like you can’t. The fact you’re scared of it, makes you alive. Face what scares you life. Face it head on and wait to you feel that sense of self, and achievement. Trust me. I have never called myself perfect, because I’m not. I have a lot yet to learn on how to adult. I know this sounds strange, but I need to believe in myself more, I do. I have a touch of imposter syndrome which isn’t great if I’m honest, but that’s something I will get over. The last month has taught me so much, about myself, my friends and family, the people here, the people in my work. That kindness exists guys, it does. People care. They believe in you, when you don’t believe in yourself. When you feel like the earth is going to swallow you up. You shall prevail. I do this every end of trip. I analyse the past while, and pick out a few bits that have really made a difference. It’s those drûnk phone calls to your mates. It’s the 25 messages a day from people asking if you’re okay, or need anything. It’s the drinking wine with your mum. Laughing until you cannot breathe. Having great sex again. Eating delicious food, and appreciating your ability to cook (I made a roast chicken) never been happier. It’s the cuddles with your dog, and cupping her face and telling her she is so beautiful until you think she believes it. It’s spending time in the shop picking out the treats you think your pets will like, because that is what makes you feel good. It’s looking up the stars. It’s being that hype mate, when you cannot feel that hype for yourself. It’s that first cup of coffee. It’s getting into your bed with your dog. It’s a warm fire. It’s a hug from your mom. See the above - doesn’t stem from money, none of it has anything to do with the amount of money you generate. It’s the little things that make your life, so step the fuck away from it for 10 mins and find your moments of calm. This is a very long thought, but it’s my thoughts. I can go on… I could but, I’ll finish the rest of this story in my head.